Sunday, May 31, 2009

DCA

I think this picture sums up our day yesterday...tons of fun, but very tiring.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Fun Weekend Ahead

I have to admit that although the 10-hour work days can seem long sometimes, it's always worth it come Friday...because I'm always off! Just one of the things I love about my job. So since my weekend is now underway, and I'll be busy for most of it, I though I would preview it.

But first, the event of the day today was Courtney's Kindergarten assessment. Traci took her to it this afternoon and they said she did good and was recommended for the extended-day K. They gave the early bird and late bird options. I"m letting Traci choose which one she prefers since she will be the one dropping both Skyler and Courtney come the fall. She's preferring late bird since Sky needs to be at school by 9:00 and Courtney would start at 9:05 (to 2:25, I think). Apparently there's a lottery or something like that to determine who gets their preference for starting times based on how the kids are classified after their assessments. When asked to count as high as she could, Courtney got to 59. Not bad for someone about to enter Kindergarten.

Now for the upcoming weekend. Tomorrow we have a playdate scheduled with the Parkers who are visiting from Idaho to gather support and promote their upcoming journey into the missions world. They will eventually be heading to Congo as Wycliffe translators. However, tomorrow it will just be fun to hang out in the morning. After lunch, we'll all head our own ways: the Parkers to move into their next host-house, me to pick up Courtney from preschool, and Traci to take Skyler to her first dentist appointment. That should be interesting considering it's her first time there. At least our dentist and the staff are really good people. Then tomorrow night it's a game night with our Sunday School class, which includes the Parkers since they were a part of the class before moving to Idaho.

Saturday brings a trip to DCA (Disney's California Adventure). My parents are going so they can use up their 2fer pass before they expire in a little over a week. We may have Sky try Soarin' Over California and Tower of Terror since she is tall enough for them now and wants to at least try Tower of Terror. (I haven't asked her about Soarin' yet, but she has no fear.)

Then Sunday after church, we have the Parkers' Open House where they will be doing a presentation for their missionary work. It should be interesting as it is such a drastic life-change to take on something like this. I really respect them for doing this.

Time to head off and clean a little before Traci gets home from the gym. If I'm ambitious, I'll post some picture from Saturday on here or Facebook sometime this weekend.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

The New Disneyland

First of all, since my last posting, I have felt much better. I think I really just needed to get my feelings out instead of holding them in which I do too often. It also may have helped that I was insanely busy at work this week and therefore couldn't think as much about other things. Whatever the case, God helped.


Even though it is Memorial Day weekend and we knew Disneyland would be crazy busy, we decided to go anyway. Plus we went in the morning, so it wouldn't be at its busiest in the evening. It turned out to be a good call. Not because of the business factor, but because each of the kids reached a milestone today...on the same day! Courtney reached the 46" mark and Skyler reached the 40" mark!

This, of course, meant that we (Courtney and I) had to do Indiana Jones. We took advantage of Fastpass since it was only for a couple of hours later and we had just gotten there. She was pretty scared in line, but afterwards, she had a big smile and said she liked it. She said the big snake was kind of scary, but loved going under the rolling rock. Needless to say, we'll be making many more visits there in the future.


And then there is Skyler. To this point she had been limited to Matterhorn and the Toontown roller coaster. But now she can go on Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, Big Thunder Mountain and Star Tours (not to mention Tower of Terror in DCA)! We did half of those today: Splash and Big Thunder. She loved both of them. Unfortunately, we didn't use Fastpass on Splash. Courtney and I hadn't used our Indiana fastpasses yet so we couldn't get four for Splash. So we waited in line for over an hour. It was worth it though. We got a little wet on the first few drops, but nothing to be proud about. Then came the last (HUGE) drop. After cruising at the bottom, a huge (probably 6 feet tall or so) wave kicked up from the front the front of our log and of course, we pretty much went through it Seeing Skyler's big smile and Courtney's smile afterwards and hearing Traci's laugh and realizing how wet I was, made it all worth it. Those are the moments I live for in life.

Then came Big Thunder Mountain. Again, we were able to take advantage of Fastpass, and that probably saved us about 45 minutes (similar to the advantage on Indiana Jones). Skyler loved it so much and was laughing everytime she lifted off the seat according to Traci who rode with her. That's my girl! Courtney did her usual top-of-the-lungs scream on Big Thunder which led her to her belly laugh between screams. I love it when she laughs like that.

Days like today at Disneyland are the moments I will remember for a long time to come and are what make having a family so enjoyable and worthwhile. I look forward to many more moments like this. Now onto the rest of the long weekend with much more family time planned, just the way a long weekend should be.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Unloading

To say the last week and a half has been a struggle would be accurate. Monica was a good friend and although it appeared she would leave us sometime, I did not expect it to affect me as much as it has. I knew it would hurt. It's not like we were best friends, but she was a good friend and I have never lost anyone this close to me before. I think that's probably why this is tough.

I tried to do her good when I spoke at her service last Saturday, and from the feedback I've received, it appears I did well. However, the strength I tried to show during the service and since her death has been a show. Or at least that's how it feels.

Since she has relocated to Heaven, it has caused me to take a look at my life, what I've accomplished and those I (may) have had an influence on. I don't like what I've been thinking as a result of this self-analysis. I have had many negative thoughts as a result of looking at my life so far. Sure, there have been successes, but being one who tends to dwell on negatives, that is all I can seem to focus on.

Something else that is not good for me (to some degree) is that I tend not to accept failure at anything. That only applies to me though, not my family. I'm trying not to pass that on to my family, especially the girls, as I know it is not always healthy. However, I think it is something I will always struggle with and at times like this, it is just not good for me. Looking at Monica's life, I can only hope to be half the person she was.

I've been holding in all these emotions, the loss of a dear friend and the disappointment of a life of many failures, for too long. Thus the blog title. It's time to unload these emotions, and hopefully they don't upset anybody.

I have not enjoyed my time in the car, or on the train or the walk to the shuttle for work as during these times, I have constant thoughts and feelings running through me. And they don't make me feel any better. Even the good music from the radio or iPod can't seem to help. (Right now I've got my Christian music and HSM playlist on it.) I feel like I'm going through the motions of life and not getting anything accomplished. I constantly think about about the various failures I've had so far, such as our financial situation, the periodic yelling at home (whether it's me or the girls or both, which I know I have passed on based on my behavior), being let go from my last job, the state of the Sunday school class I "lead", the fact that our Colorado trip is in jeopardy, and the list goes on. Couple that with the emotions of losing a friend and I just don't know how much more I can handle in my head. I feel like I need a good cry, but just can't get it out. I feel very fragile and vulnerable, and I don't like that. I wish I could just move on in life, but I know I can't and don't know how reasonable that would be anyway. If I didn't have Traci and the girls at home, I don't know how I would be right now as it feels like I would have no motivation for anything. Fortunately, they give me motivation to make it through the day as I love seeing them when I get home, even if it's only for a few hours.

I guess I just don't know how to handle it all and that drives me crazy. I like to be in control and I don't feel even close to that right now. At least I've got God and the comfort that He will not give me more than I can handle. Just wish I knew how long these feelings and emotions would last.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Article on Monica in Daily News

There is a great article about Monica on the front page of the Whittier Daily News today. I am including a link here so you can read it. Also, it is currently showing up as the most viewed article online at the Daily News. If you have the time, please read it.

Friday, May 15, 2009

A Long Week

This has been a long week already and the weekend is just beginning, which means things just speed up.

As you may or may not know, we lost a good friend Monica on Monday evening. She had been battling Angiosarcoma for about a year and a half and ultimately lost her battle. She leaves behind her husband of more than 7 years, Sol, and their 2 year old son, Kai. It's a very heart-breaking time. We got to know Monica ans Sol through our Sunday School class. They have been a part of the class for about 6 years I think and fit right in. Traci got to know Monica pretty good as they seemed to have a lot in common like games and scrapbooking. I think her passing is probably hitting Traci more than me because of that., although it still has gotten to me all week. She was a great part of the class and will be missed dearly.

Tuesday and Wednesday I teared up off and on all day, so I took Thursday as a vacation day to just try to relax and be available for Sol if he needed anything, and today is my normal day off. I think the reason I am so sad and upset is not because Monica is actually gone, although that's definitely part of it. I think it's more because I empathize with Sol. I picture what I would feel like losing Traci, being left to raise Courtney and Skyler by myself. I picture myself having to talk to them about why Mommy won't be home with us and having to deal with their pain as well as mine. I just cannot imagine what that would be like and hope that I never have to. Losing someone you love is never easy. Losing someone who makes you who you are and gives you motivation for life, is incomprehensible to me. (Needless to say, I have been hugginh my family with more meaning this week.) And yet here I am trying to help a friend who is going through exactly that. My heart goes out to Sol and Kai as they adjust to their new life. I'm just really glad that they know God, and because of that, can know that someday they will see Monica again. And she will a happy, perfectly healthy Monica. What a day that will be! I think that's why I'm not as upset over missing Monica, because I know she's in Heaven and having an amazing time hanging out with all the people she knows that are already there.

I bet God has a volleyball court for her, too. I decided to google her name earlier this week and came across an article from a few years ago when she was inducted into her college's Hall of Fame (the inaugural induction I might add). I didn't realize she was so good at volleyball.

I didn't know what to expect when I went to see Sol on Wednesday after work. He seemed to be doing well, all things considered. It was really good to see him and give him a hug and talk for a little bit. I know he's been through a lot and to be holding up as well as it appears he is, is amazing to me.

So, as the weekend is now here, plans get insane as they seem to on too many weekends. Courtney has school today, as is normal on Fridays, although she only has 4 weeks of preschool left now. I've already taken my dad to his post-cataract-surgery appointment (things are going as they should) and he treated me to breakfast. The rest of the day is pretty open, but I may be spending time with Sol. Tomorrow will be a little crazy. I'll have the girls most of the day as Traci has a full morning beginning with MOPS/MOMS brunch with church. As soon as she gets home, it's off to a friend's baby shower. Meanwhile I have to take Courtney up to church for choir practice for their performance on Sunday night. Then after everyone is home, we (at least Traci and I) will head to Monica's memorial service at church Saturday evening. Sunday morning will be church as normal, but with Roads and Bridges (the Sunday School class I lead) hosting a time of prayer and talk about Monica, Sol and Kai. Then to wrap up the weekend, we will see Courtney perform in a musical at church Sunday evening. It will be a long and emotional weekend, but I'm up for it. I need to be.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Man-ny! Man-what? Hey, Free Souvenirs!

I had the joy of being at the Dodger game tonight. Kind of historic in the sense that it was the first of 50 games the Dodgers will play without Manny Ramirez thanks to his suspension for taking performance enhancing drugs (PEDs) as indicated by a positive test by MLB. While this is obviously a concern for the team, not having his services and all until early July, I am not too worried about the Dodgers and how they will do without him. Tonight's game confirmed my thoughts about that (more details following). After all, one player does not make a team, and it's very hard to win when your bullpen gives up 10 runs.

It was obvious right away that the Dodger did not need Manny to score runs tonight. They scored 6 runs in the first inning alone to go up 6-0, 4 of which came on Matt Kemp's grand slam. Randy Wolf pitched a great 6 innings giving up only one run on a home run that I almost caught! The ball was caught by the guy sitting one seat over and two rows down from me. (You might be able to see me and my friend Martin if you pause the video at the just the right time. At the 0:12 mark of the video, you will see a guy in a yellow shirt bend over to get the ball. From there, look slightly up and to the left. Martin is in a blue shirt almost on the edge of the video and I am right next to him, in a light gray shirt with my blue Dodger hat.) Also in the game was a wicked crazy double play turned by the Nationals' Christian Guzman that spoiled the major league debut of Xavier Paul for the Dodgers. (It actually is ESPN's #1 Web Gem for Thursday.) Ultimately, the Dodgers lost 11-9, their first home loss of the season in their 14th home game. Not bad. So now they are only 21-9 with a 5.5 game lead in the division. Exciting game, but wrong results as we left two the tying runs on base to end the game.

Now, as to how I actually caught a ball during batting practice. The Nationals were taking their pre-game batting practice and many players were in shagging fly balls in the outfield. Once in a while one of them would toss a ball into the crowd, either into the left field pavilion or our area of the field level. One of the players had a ball and was looking towards the crowd in our section like he was thinking about throwing it to us. So I stood up and held up my glove in hopes he would see me. He did and threw the ball towards me. It started hooking away from me towards Martin (who did not have a glove was willing to let me defend him with it) so I leaned in front of him and caught it. Good thing too as he didn't realize the ball was coming our way...he was still watching the batter. So since they were giving away little radios in honor of the 50th anniversary of the Dodgers first world championship in LA (beating the White Sox in 1959), I walked away with two free souvenirs for the night. And yes they were truly free as the tickets to the game were free as well!
Below are a couple of pictures. One is with me and the ball I caught. The other is me re-enacting me catching the ball. (Very realistic, I know.)

Sunday, May 3, 2009

The Good, the Bad...Now I'm Sad

What a rough weekend. Thank goodness they are not all like this.

First of all having left work early on Wednesday and then calling in sick on Thursday due to a stomach bug of some kind, that didn't go away until Saturday, was a sign of how things would go, I guess.

On Friday, I took my car into the nearest Jeep dealership, which is now Cerritos after two others nearby have closed in this downturn, to take care of a problem that the last mechanic I took it to said could only be taken care of by a dealer. Well, they were right, unfortunately. Now that I've been putting up with my car stalling at random times for the past several months (we're talking since Christmas or just before), it is nice to have the problem fixed. Turns out the computer, you know the one that runs the car, was having an internal short and therefore making the car stall. The computer alone was $583 (not including labor). There was also a problem with air and gas control that meant the repair of another part. After all was said and done, we're out almost a grand. We are lucky in the sense that we were able to afford this right now and make the car last until now. However, the bad is that it cost about what our trip to Colorado would cost and spending that much again would not be smart at this point in time. Therefore, I have a feeling we won't be heading to Colorado this year, which really sucks. It kills me every time the girls mention and get very excited about going to Colorado. At least we have Skype.

Then, my worries about going to Colorado and spending the money on my car didn't seem very significant. Our friend Monica, who has been battling Cancer (Angiosarcoma) for about a year and a half now, was admitted to the hospital on Friday. We found out Saturday and were able to visit her that afternoon. She is in a lot of pain as the tumors rapidly grow in her. From what Traci told me from Sunday School today (I was home with Courtney who is sick) she has a 22cm tumor. The chemos she has been through have not been working. She needs prayer, as do her husband and almost 3-year-old son. It's obviously hard on them as well, especially Sol (her husband) as he better understands what is going on. I ask that you pray for them.

(Since I just posted a new song on my other blog, I wanted to post the previous video for my current favorite song as it means so much to me right now. Hope you enjoy it if you haven't checked out my other blog lately.)