Sunday, July 3, 2011

Rough Weekend

Usually this is a very fun weekend as we celebrate the birth of our country.  This year has been a little different so far, though.  As you may or may not know, I recently had two interviews with Hawaiian Airlines.  This would have been a major move as we would have needed to relocate to Hawaii since the position was based out of Honolulu.  However, yesterday morning I received an e-mail from the recruiter who originally contacted me about the position.  It said that they decided to pass on me and provided 3 reasons the VP, who most recently interviewed me, gave for taking me out of the running.  Two of those three reasons were total crap, which is the main reason I am so pissed and upset about this missed opportunity.  The one that gets me the most is that he didn't understand why I left Chevron because he assumed they were doing fine.  Here's the two part problem I have with that.  First, he assumed!  Secondly, he never asked me!  I'll give him the fact that although Chevron was crying that they weren't doing well (I guess only making $10 billion in 2009 isn't good enough, never mind the $20 billion they made last year, you know, the year they made all the workforce cuts...don't even get me started on that).  Most companies would be fine with that, but not Chevronor other oil companies.  Regardless, if he wondered about it, why didn't he freakin' bring it up?  But, what's done is done.  However, if the first guy "really liked" me (per the recruiter who talked with him), did he talk to the VP?  Now I'm just running "what if?" scenarios through my head.

Of course our parents are glad that we aren't moving, but I don't care and don't want to hear that right now.  That's almost motivation for me to look exclusively for jobs outside our current area.  (Can you tell I'm a little bitter?)  I really had my hopes up for this possibility, especially since the first interviewer liked me so much.  All I've got to say is thank goodness for my meds.  If I didn't have those, who knows how low I would have gotten this weekend; yesterday was bad enough on them.  At least I have my next psych appointment on Tuesday.

I have applied for a couple of jobs since the rejection, one based in Texas (with another airline) and one based locally with a high-end sunglasses company.  I'm not expecting anything to happen, but at least I've applied.

I have become very frustrated with this whole job search thing.  My career coach said that if you get in for an interview, you are 80% of the way there (to getting hired).  He also gave me a stat about if you get a second interview.  I think it was over 90%, but I'm going to assume only 90% for hte purpose of the following calculation.  If it were true, that would mean that I have a (.1 x .1 x .1 =) .001 = .1% chance of not getting hired by any of those three employers.  So does that mean that I suck that bad or am I just lucky to be the one person out every 1,000 that has 2 interviews with 3 different employers and doesn't get hired.  See where I'm going with this?  If I assume that the probability was 95% instead of 90%, there would be a .0125% chance of me not getting any of the three jobs.

Now that I have passed the 9-month unemployment mark I feel like my faith is starting to be challenged.  I know God has a plan for me, but what is it and how long will this continue?  Is He going to take me to the edge again, like 2 years ago?  Is this some kind of test?  Whatever it is He's doing, I hope He enlightens me soon.  I'm getting sick of this waiting game!

Oh and on top of all this, there are other things to worry about...big things.  We have only one payment (for August) left on our temporary loan modification plan.  After that, we are done with payments if I'm still unemployed, which means we will have to get rid of the house.  Then, after October 1 (ironically, the 1-year anniversary of me being unemployed), my unemployment claim maxes out and we will have pretty much no income.  Feels like a perfect storm is brewing to me.

One more thing that irks me is that I keep hearing that those who are currently working have an easier time finding a new job that those who are unemployed.  Please tell me I'm stupid, because this doesn't make sense to me.

Ok, I think I'm done venting.  Now I just need to calm down so I can actually sleep tonight.

1 comment:

micah said...

If it's any consolation, the recruiter can't have meant that getting an interview gives you a 90% chance of getting the job or whatever, because there would presumably be multiple people getting interviews for the same job. There's a lot of people out there looking for work, so you've got plenty of competition. Don't be hard on yourself about it.